| GETTING FREE FROM MY ADDICTION TEXT: ROMANS 7:14-24 “For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. (7:15) For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. (7:16) If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. (7:17) Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. (7:18) For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. (7:19) For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. (7:20) Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. (7:21) I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. (7:22) For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: (7:23) But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. (7:24) O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” THINGS WE MUST KNOW WHEN ATTEMPTING TO HELP AN ADDICT (1) All Addicts Are Liars. Never believe what an addict says. They lie the most to themselves and to those they love the most. The lies are effective because both the addict and those closest to him or her want to believe the lies. (2) Addicts cannot think clearly. Addiction is a mood-altering experience. Only when he or she is “clean” does an addict have the ability to think clearly, to make appropriate choices, and to follow through on decisions. (3) Addicts cannot help themselves. Getting help elsewhere is mandatory. Going sober solo generates new compulsions. While they might be less deadly or more socially acceptable, they are compulsive behaviors, nonetheless. (4) Addicts always minimize their addiction. Addicts always discount the severity of their addictions and hold back from doing everything necessary to develop and maintain sobriety. (5) Multiple relapses are always possible. Relapse is possible and the addict needs a safe place to be and safe people to be with. This is why we founded Elim Home. (6) The addict is usually more clever than the counselor. Addicts are better at maintaining their addiction than we are at solving them. They will beat us every time. Therefore, law (“You cannot drink if you are going to be in this program”) and grace (“You are free to drop out if you choose”) are both a part of recovery. One individual cannot develop sobriety for another. (7) Addiction provides escape from reality. Addictions sedate emotional pain, quiet anxiety, and provide a false sense of well being. Abstinence or deliverance allows the underlying issues, with all their pent-up emotions, to surface and be processed in counseling. (8) Family and friends must help the addict towards deliverance. Spouses, families, and co-workers become tied into the maintenance of addictions and must be involved in the treatment process as well. Their lack of involvement places the sobriety process at risk of sabotage. (9) The addict must arrive at a moment of truth. Addicts can develop a history of treatment programs, counseling, or broken relationships. We cannot work harder at sobriety than the addict does. They must come to grips with their own addiction and deny it. (10) Only God can provide permanent deliverance. In Romans 7, Paul admitted that the power of sin is so great that sometimes we give into the very things we are determined to resist. Speaking on behalf of all of us, he said: Romans 7:24-25, “O, wretched man that I am! Who should deliver me from the body of this death?” I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Jesus alone is the answer to our addictions. He took all our sins upon Himself on the cross and died for each one of them. Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 2:20, “I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Stop denying your addiction. Stop excusing yourself. Face it and deal with it. Confess it to God. Repent of it. Turn away from it and turn your life over to Christ right now. EVERYONE IS ADDICTED TO SOMETHING I love banana pudding and coconut cream pie. I hide banana pudding under macaroni and cheese. Addiction to sin is as old as the human race. As soon as Adam and Eve fell into sin, they plunged all of humanity into an addictive pattern. Today, addiction is so widespread that over 30% of all Americans are being treated for some form of serious addiction: drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, pornography, sexual addictions, etc. The list is almost endless. Every level of society is affected: married and single, young and old alike. USA Today recently noted that unless we can quickly stem the tide of increased cigarette use in adolescents, all the reductions in lung and heart disease will be reversed in this decade. In a compulsive culture, these trends can only increase. Any time a society sanctions using grocery change in an addictive substance (lottery gambling), an epidemic is in the making. Now is the time to confront these issues and call America to repentance. ALARMING FACTS Internet porn: 15 million children now use the Internet regularly and many are being hooked by Internet pornography. Child molestation: There are computer bulletin boards set up specifically for the seduction of children. They lure kids in with games and establish relationships with them on-line. Then they arrange to meet face-to-face. Child molesters are using the electronic superhighway to look for victims. They are going to the places where the kids of the 21st century play. Illegal, hard-core pornography includes bestiality (sex with animals), incest, rape, sado-masochism, torture, mutilation, necrophilia (Sex with dead!) and “eroticized” urination and defecation. Most of the victims of such degrading themes are WOMEN and CHILDREN and are depicted on the net! The APA now considers pedophilia as acceptable behavior with some positive benefits. Gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc. WHAT CAUSES ADDICTION? (1) Escape from painful emotions through chemical dependency. (2) Seeking after an artificial high. (3) Relief from stress. (4) Creation of illusions that symbolize love and nurture. (5) The quest for instant relief from pain. (6) The quest for pleasure without responsibility and consequences. WHAT COUNSELORS MUST NOT FORGET 1. The addiction seems like a friend that brings temporary relief from loneliness, anger, and fear. 2. Giving up these survival strategies may seem life threatening to addicts. 3. Attempts to get addicts to change may be met with great anger. This is sometimes like trying to take food away from a hungry animal. 4. There will be constant denial. There will be lies, excuses, and many short-lived attempts to give up the addiction. 5. Counselors may be blamed, criticized, and even sued by angry addicts who feel threatened. Be prepared not to take this personally. This anger and denial is not about you. It is about the addict’s shame and desperation. 6. These feelings can be a way of helping addicts give up control and reach out for help. 7. Addicts need to learn that long-term healing is available. They can exchange short-term unhealthy survival strategies - the high of their addictions - for long-term healing strategies. They must be urged to replace short-term gratification with long-term peace. 8. They need the fellowship of others who struggle with similar addictions. 9. They will also need to learn healthy emotional, physical, and spiritual discipline. This is a life-long process. 10. Addictions are choices of the will. At some point in life, the addict makes a conscious choice to sin by taking a chance on addictive substances or behaviors. Chances are that nobody made you start smoking, drinking, or taking drugs. You made that choice and you must decide to do something about it. You may need help and most addicts do - that is why we established Elim Home for drug and alcohol abuse - to provide a spiritual environment in which to minister to addicts and help them find God’s power to change. 11. Addicts must be taught how to change behaviors that lead to addiction. 12. Support and accountability groups are essential. 13. Eventually, however, we must also search for and treat underlying causes. Often addicts will be depressed, anxious, and obsessive-compulsive. There are actually “dry drunks” - alcoholics who have found sobriety but who still suffer from deep inner conflicts. Addicts may even be suicidal. 14. Various forms of in-patient hospitalization may be necessary. But ultimately, the addict has to want to quit. He or she must decide: “I’ve had enough! I want out!” 15. Addictions are spiritual substitutes. In their addiction, addicts are looking for love, nurture, and relationship (even if only with a bottle, pill, food, work or sex). 16. Some counselors see addicts as searching for a relationship with God. Yet many Christian counselors will be frustrated talking to them about God. Addicts have sought religious solutions for years. Since addicts seek to control, their religious quest is usually in the form of searching for black-and-white answers that will manipulate God to forgive them and totally remove their unmanageable desires. 17. Addicts may be believers, but really haven’t surrendered to God at all. They have merely replaced their addictions with an addictive form of a religion of good works and self-effort. THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST IS ESSENTIAL As Christians we are in the business of helping people change by introducing them to the grace of God and the power of the gospel. Dr. Tim Clinton, adjunct professor at Liberty University and president of the American Association of Christian Counselors, recently shared with me some of the barriers to change that every addict faces: (1) Lack of motivation. “I want to change, but I’m too busy to get help”. (2) Resistance. “I can’t” usually means “I won’t”. (3) Learned helplessness. “That’s just the way it is in our family”. (4) Labels and excuses. “We’re all addicts aren’t we?” “I’m a shopaholic, workaholic, chocaholic, caffeine addict! So, leave me alone!” (5) Self-sufficiency. “I have the power within me to beat this. I don’t need God”. (6) It’s all in my genes. “I have a genetic predisposition to alcohol, homosexuality, pornography or whatever”. Few addicts really believe they can get through their days unaided by drugs, alcohol, or other self-gratifying behavior. The addict is usually unwilling to do anything hard or experience anything unpleasant to give up his addiction. This is the erroneous belief that self-control and habit-change are too hard, and that it really is easier to avoid responsibilities and hard work. I can’t help my passion for my addiction. Things other people did to me made me this way. This is a victim mentality, the misbelief that bad habits are solely a result of past mistreatment. It is the false assumption that all desires are psychological “needs” which must be fulfilled. I’m so worthless I really don’t matter, so I might as well go ahead and indulge in my addiction. I can’t face myself, can’t stand the guilt, so I have to have my habit to enable me to tolerate myself. Maybe I can cut down. Then I won’t have to quit. This is an effort to do anything to hang on to the addiction! |
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